Update: My FIL is doing well. They moved him into a regular room this morning, and my bil said he was walking around and in good spirits. Apparently he had some sort of robotic surgery. It was a miracle that his surgery was able to be performed by one of the few Doctors around who can do this surgery. So, Praise the Lord! Thanks for all your prayers.

My FIL is having his valve repair surgery this morning at 9:30. So any prayers are greatly appreciated. Fortunately, they are not going to have to do open heart surgery, but are going in through his veins/arteries. Hopefully this means a much quicker recovery time. Thanks for all your prayers this week.

I just wanted to ask for everyone to keep praying for my FIL. The surgery went well, but afterwards they found one of the valves in his heart isn't working properly, so he will have to undergo more surgery. He's doing well, but he has to stay in the hospital a while longer.

Prayer Request

My father-in-law is having gall-bladder surgery as I write, so if you feel so led, please lift him and my mil in prayer. He's been in the hospital since Monday night, but has been waiting for test results, etc. Splitcat has gone to the hospital to sit with his mom. Thanks!


I forgot to add to my last post that W weighs a little over 22 lbs, and M weighs 28.7 lbs. They are feeling better now since the antibiotics have kicked in.

We have our first official illnesses of the season. W. has a sinus infection and M has an ear infection. I am praying that this is the first and the last of the season.

The boy and the Girl are both well.

I put the babies in their pen for a few minutes before we left for the store this morning. Baby M fussed for a minute then it got really quiet. When I got up to look he was sound asleep. This is unusual for my children. They usually will only fall asleep in their bed or carseat.

I'm not sure what to post, but I am on a serious caffeine high, so I figured I could think of something. I haven't felt this hyper in some time.

Today was my last day of bible study. I really enjoyed the ladies at my table. We had a good time.

I really can't think of anything else to write about. My mind is whirling too fast.

The kids are good. Baby M. is having some reflux again, so any prayer is appreciated.

I feel so violated

My mother called me Monday morning. She said she had to tell me something, and she hoped I wouldn't be so mad I never talked to her again. She said I would probably be mad and then laugh. I said, okay, what did you do.

Well, she says. I was getting ready for bible study yesterday, and I felt like it was time to walk through some change again. As soon as she said that, I knew exactly what she had done.

Did you open Snoopy? I accused.

Yes, I did.

She was right, I was a little mad(I told her I felt violated), but it was really pretty funny. You see, Snoopy was an integral part of my childhood. Snoopy is a 2 ft high plastic bank. I don't know where it came from, it just always was. We dressed snoopy up, I am sure I often anointed him with my tinkerbell perfume, we hauled him around. And we put our spare change in him. We would peek down the slot to see how much money we had saved and try to guess how much was in it. We would plot and plan how we would spend the money when our mom finally cut open the little hole on the bottom and let the change out. I asked her how many hair clips were in it. She said she was surprised that there were only 2, so was I.

But here's the cool part. Walking though change requires, well, change. So she took the change from Snoopy, which was mostly pennies, and made a pile. Then she made another pile with mostly quarters and dimes that she had been saving from her spending money. Then people would choose which pile to start in. So what ended up happening is that the pile from Snoopy ended up representing all our childhood dreams and provision(which it was in fact my sister and I's childhood dreams to spend that change), and the other pile represented the changes and provisions of adulthood. So in walking from the Snoopy pile to the other pile, some were declaring the change from childhood to adulthood, or from believing for a little to believing for a lot. Yet some were compelled to go the other way, recapturing lost childhood dreams. She said she was stunned at how deeply the women in her group were impacted by this simple prophetic act. Then they all remembered the time they had to throw their shoes and begged to do that next week. Bible study with my mom is never dull.

So I had to forgive her for opening Snoopy. She never had a good reason for not opening him before. Even though we pleaded and begged. But Snoopy was opened at just the right time. Thankfully the damage is not irreparable. Because our children play with Snoopy the exact same way we did as children. And I would hate to deprive them of such a valuable childhood experience as dressing up a plastic Snoopy.

Fall Fun

Well, my children managed to have fun despite the fact that I refuse to let them trick or treat. Personally, I would prefer to pretend that Halloween is just another night. But if I stay home I have to deal with doorbell ringers, so we take our kids to a local "do" at a church. It'a free, so that's a plus. The kids came home with plenty of candy. I was going to stay home with all the lights off and the twins, but when I saw those costumes at the Disney Store, and they were a little less then $10 each I simply couldn't resist. So we all went. The twins had a good time looking at everyone, plus there are carnival rides, so they enjoyed watching those. Pooh was good at keeping his costume hat on, Tigger left his on for about half the time, which was longer than I expected. But Pooh kept trying to pull Tiggers head off(he sits behind him in the stroller) and was strangling his brother, so I thought it best to remove the temptation. I think Baby M liked being his own stuffed animal. The girl wore her Aurora Dress from last year, and I think I may get one more years wear out of it. I bought the boy a Captain Hook costume from the Disney store. He wasn't thrilled, he had told everyon he was going to be a ghost(which is against my rules) so he had no choice. Lots of people complimented him on his costume, but he still wasn't thrilled. It should fit at least one more year, also. I believe in getting my money's worth. I realized on Tuesday that P. still didn't have a costume, so I went first to party city. Do not go to party city the night before halloween. It was like a toy store on christmas eve. I left very quickly. I don't like their costumes much anyway, they are expensive and cheap looking. So I went to the disney store. They were having a sale. So I got a good deal for really nice costumes.

You may be asking yourself why I am subjecting you to a video of Baby M crying. Well, I thought you might like to enjoy a little bit of my life. In his defense, he's been really gassy and is cutting like 6 teeth at once. But. He cries. All the time. Loudly. In the middle of the night. Did I mention it was loud? And it's not the help I'm hurt, or I'm sad kind of crying. It's the "I want my mom and I want her now!" kind of crying. Which I have less sympathy for. For instance, he refused to go to bed last night. If he were alone, I would have let him cry. But his brother really wanted to be asleep. I had already gotten both of them up once or twice when I decided to let W. sleep. So I finally get M to bed after 9:30. Then he decides he's just taking a nap and is awake from 2-4:30. I can't leave him in his room to cry because of his brother. So he plays very happily until I just can't stay awake any longer and he's had a light snack and cup of milk. And while he slept in, W. was wide awake at 6 am.

In other baby news, they are babies no longer. I officially took away their bottles. I let them go longer than I let P or E. Mostly because it was easier. But the time had come. It is sad and good at the same time. Sad because my babies are growing up and I will miss them being babies, but good because all things must grow and change and it is so much fun to discover these little people as their personalities begin to really blossom.

Baby M has two volumes--happy or screaming. When he is happy he can be really funny. He absolutely loves stuffed animals. I will try to get his reaction on film, because you can't describe it.

Baby W has a range of volumes. He was experimenting with anger at my parents the other night. He tried to stomp off and fell flat on his face on their travertine floor. Someone told him "No" and he didn't like it. He had earlier expressed his frustration with the limits imposed on him with a heartfelt half grunt-half scream. He tries on expressions to see your reaction. And as soon as he figures out how to swing a leg over the top of his crib or playpen, I am in trouble.

Hallelujah!!! It's been raining for three days. My out of state readers may not know that Georgia is in the midst of a severe drought. All outdoor watering has been restricted for some time now. Now there's quite a brouhaha developing between the state and the corps of engineers. Apparently quite a bit of water is released daily from Lake Lanier(our water source) and sent to Florida to protect an endangered species of mussels. Yeah, mussels.

Hmmm, I seem to recall a time in Georgia's past where state's rights were an issue. That didn't end so well.


A few people have made it over to my "me" blog. (Here's a hint if you don't know how to find it--click on my profile). So far it's pretty random. And my goal is to keep this as my family/general blog and the other as my more personal blog. Sometimes it may be a little shallow, sometimes a little deep. It will probably depend on how much sleep I've had.

Yesterday at the park

A Man who's not afraid of his emotions :)

Oops, this is from Saturday at the in-laws. Sorry it's blurry, but it's the best one of them together
This one is hard to keep up with. He has a mind of his own

A peaceful sibling moment--it's always good to capture those because sometimes they are few and far between

In other things: I've restarted my other blog. It will not be about my family, but a place for my thoughts. If you can find it you are welcome to read it :)

Random things

I haven't posted in a while. so I thought I'd give it a try. I've been avoiding the internet the last week or so. I can't pinpoint a real reason, maybe I've been spending too much time on it, I don't know. Since my Sorting post, I've been thinking alot about alot of things. I decided what I am looking for is a life of simplicity. I know that Life will never be simple, but I can simplify the trappings of life. In my baby-step mode, I decided the first thing I would simplify is how many dishes were in my cupboard. So I am down to 4 dinner plates, 4 salad plates, and 4 bowls. Next I will clean out the utensil drawer and keep 4 sets of silverware. Then I will move on to the glasses. Then the childrens cups. Partly it will force me to wash dishes, and partly it should keep my tiny counter space from being cluttered with dirty dishes. The old me would have kept the 12 place settings in the cabinet, just in case(of what? exactly).


I went to a tea party today. It was held at a very lovely house and I only knew a few people. I sat with the hostess and 2 other girls my age. They are getting ready to read the book Captivating and have a bible study. So we talked about Romance and being a woman. It was very interesting, because even though we were the same age, we were at different places in life. There's me, then one of the girls lost her husband in a car accident last spring and is pregnant with her 5th child, and the other girl is unmarried and about to complete her MBA. So it made for interesting conversation. What is interesting is how similar at core we all were in our desires in life. One of the things I've been thinking about in the last few days is Romance. Not as in romance novels or soap operas, but a mixture of the Divine Romance and it's shadows and types on earth. I have considered the question(hypothetically)--if I told my husband I needed more Romance in my life, what would I mean by that. Would it mean I want him to bring me flowers, or take me out, or buy me furs, or just spend time listening to me. I haven't reached a conclusion yet. I think that there is a myth that can be perpetuated that women should consider it romantic if their husband does something around the house for them, or keeps the children, or etc. But that isn't romance. It is certainly a way to show love to your spouse, but it is not romance. I guess I have been thinking more about what Romance is not. And if we have love, do we still need romance?(I think yes). The world seems to equate romance with sex. I definitely don't agree with that.
I think for true romance to occur there has to be an intimacy involved-not physical, but more of a mental/spiritual. My husband has to know me well enough to know what I consider romantic, just as I have to know him well enough. Where I might find a candlelit dinner on my finest china romantic, he might think a picnic lunch on a mountain more romantic. So if I plan a romantic evening and plan it around my likes and ignore what he likes, then am I romancing him or myself?
How does the Lord romance and woo us to Him? By ministering to our individuality. Some may be wooed by God the Father, because they have never known a father's love and that is their deepest desire. Some may be wooed by the sacrifice of Jesus, because the thought that someone loved them enough to die for them stirs their heart. Others may be stirred by the power of the Holy Spirit and be wooed by the adventure His presence in our life promises. Then, after their hearts are stirred towards God there will come a moment when they accept the love He is offering and turn their hearts to Him through salvation. While the reality of who He is and Christ's sacrifice never wavers, every one has their own story of how God wooed them. There is no ritual or formula that God performs to win hearts, because no two hearts are alike. He meets us where we need Him most. And he continues to woo us even after we are His. He sends me thunderstorms to say He loves me because He knows how much I enjoy them and he knows they stir my heart towards Him. To some he sends beautiful sunsets, or the sound of crashing waves. I imagine there is something that each of you can think of that stirs your heart again to where you remember that first rush of love you had towards him. Just as a married couple, past the early days of being in love, have some memory of those heady days that can be stirred by a song, or a smell, or just the sight of their beloved across the room.
These are the memories that can keep us going through the hard times. When we feel that God has forgotten us in the midst of our trials, or when we aren't getting along with our spouse and we wonder what we saw in them in the first place, we have those memories to remind us of how our hearts were once romanced. And in considering that love our hearts can be stirred again.
So think about what things remind you of God's love for you, whether it be something natural or man made, then keep an eye out and watch for it. And the next time you see your spouse, remember what made you fall in love with them and give them a hug(or kiss, whichever you prefer).

Mornings and skies

I am not a morning person. Some people just need a cup of coffee or other stimulating beverage to get their mornings going. I need 10 am. But I have almost come to enjoy the mornings this past week. The weather has finally changed. When the boy and I leave for the bus stop in the mornings it is a little bit chilly, the sky is dark, and there are still a few stars shining, and the moon is still out. We set off, hand in hand in the dim light, watching his new shoes spark with each step, talking of random and sometimes silly things. This morning we talked about astronauts and satellites. I had pointed out the clouds that stood out in the moonlit sky, and told him how the sky and the clouds are my favorites things because they are never the same. Every day there is some new beauty to discover.



Some days the sky is tall and reminds me that I am but a speck on this great planet. Some days the clouds press down heavily, weighted with their unshed tears, and I am reminded that no matter how heavy the rain, the sun will come again. Some days the wind blows down and teases me into laughing at myself as it blows my hair into a whirling dance. Some days the sky is filled with sparks and rumbles and the electric wind makes me feel alive. Some days the sky is quiet, and it reminds me to be still.



As a child I was not a nature lover. When we lived in Florida, I spent many hours playing outside, but the idea of nature never occurred to me. I began to understand a little better when we lived in New Jersey and for the first time experienced the four seasons in all their glory. Then one day in high school, we had been in Georgia for several years, I remember stepping off the school bus and being suddenly assaulted by nature. It was like a veil had been removed from my eyes. I heard all the birds singing, every rustle of the leaves in the wind. And all the colors practically shouted at me. From that point onward I began to take notice of the world around me. When I moved to the mountains to attend college, I practically lived outside. I would take a blanket to the front lawn and nap or hang out with friends. My roommate and I would walk around campus singing hymns. After I was married and attending a different school, I still went outside at every opportunity. When I worked at the college, I would volunteer to run errands as much as possible. My office was an interior one and had no views of the outside. If the secretary across the hall had her blinds open, I could almost see a tree. And now, I sneak outside with a bag of garbage in hand, and take my time walking back to the front door. If I see a storm brewing I linger even longer in the wind. I have seen my love of the wind in Baby W. He giggles and tries to grab that thing that is blowing his curling(!) hair around and taking his breath away.



We went to the park again this past sunday. I put the babies in the grass. W.(in the blue) had a wonderful time walking in circles, while his brother(in the red shirt) tentatively touched the grass like it was some alien going to devour him.

Baby M is walking now, when he doesn't know he's doing it. I wanted to get some video of him walking at the park, but he wouldn't walk on the grass. His sister used to have the same aversion to grass, so I know he will grow out of it.

Well, the morning has progressed, and I must go grocery shopping. Woohoo. Have a beautiful day.

Oh yeah, my mom has started a blog. If you are interested she can be found at Patti's Ponderings(no, her name isn't patti, my husband suggested the name and it stuck).

Sorting

I am tired of sorting. I feel like my life has become an endless pile to sort. Maybe I'm just feeling pessimistic because my children have far too many toys. Last Christmas my sister in law gave them each a toy organizer which has small boxes. The kids have had a lot of fun with those boxes. They like to dump the toys on the floor and build walls with the boxes. They like to dump out the toys and make soccer goals. Then I get to sort all the dumped out toys and put them away. P. is good at helping me sort. He's a sorter, too. Like his mother, he sees a pile of toys on the floor and feels mostly panic. But if you assign him one specific item, like pick up the lincoln logs, he happily complies. His sister just flat out refuses to help and when threatened with toy removal, happily quips that she'll just get more for Christmas and her birthday(I've had the majority of her toys bagged up for over a month now, she hasn't missed them. Now they just might disappear.)

So as I was sorting toys this morning, I had an epiphany of sorts, or maybe it was just a realization. I am tired of sorting. I dream of a day when everything has a place to be put away. When there are no superfluous boxes of random items one of us is holding on to just because. I dream of a day when my mind only has one thought at a time so I don't have to sort through all the noise to find the thought which is most pertinent for the moment.

I have been seriously pondering the idea of living only with essentials. But that begs the question, other than food, shelter and clothing, what is essential?

What do you think is essential for our modern life? What do you think you couldn't live without?

I can't find my cat. I think she may have gone outside. I've been through the yard a couple of times and through the house lots, but no kitty. please pray for her, she's an indoor cat, so I'm guessing she's pretty freaked out if she is outside. Plus splitcat is away at a school function until tomorrow. It will be very sad if I have to sleep tonight without Kitty. She's slept at my feet for the last 9 yrs.

Update: I found my cat. I Was working and thought I heard a meow, so I muted the tv and called for her. She was in the closet under the stairs. She must have gotten in when I was putting some boxes away. I have no idea how long she was in there--I can't remember when I opened it last. Poor baby. I'll have to be extra nice to her.

Anniversary

Today is our 12th anniversary. Since we forgot to find a babysitter, and half our babysitting team is in Europe at the moment anyway, we celebrated by taking the kids to the park. We went through the McDonald's drive-thru and took it with us. A good time was had by all. It is a beautiful day today. It is one of the first days that has felt like Autumn is on its way. There was a wonderful cool breeze playing in the trees. The only bad thing was someone was having a birthday party and had set up one of those jumpy things, and the motor was really loud.

We also got some footage of Baby W. walking. He's getting pretty good.

Baby M just cried when we tried to get some video of him.

Chapter Books

Everyday P. is sent home with a book from school, they call them baggie books, because they are in a ziploc baggie. Yesterday he graduated to Chapter Books. I have no idea if this is unusual for a first grader, but I was very proud. He's rereading his Bible, too. E. has started "reading" her books at the table, too. She seems to be doing well at school so far. But she is still writing backwards--from right to left instead of left to right. P. went through a phase at this age where he wrote his letters backwards, but in the right order. She writes the whole thing backwards(i suppose it's actually a mirror image). I am guessing she does this because she is left-handed. Anyone have advice on how to help her? She doesn't seem to realize they are backwards, it all looks the same to her. Or should I not worry about it till she is in kindergarten.

I made it to Bible study again. I didn't really want to go, but I did. The boys had a good time, but were ready for a nap when I picked them up. I am going to try to do better about doing my homework this week. But 32 yrs of procrastinating is a hard habit to overcome. Sometimes I wish the Lord would work on one fault of mine at a time. I suppose a lot of them are connected, though. So here's what going to bible study is working on(other than the actual study): My commitment to a group issues(showing up), my fear of groups(I either don't say anything, or feel like a jerk or idiot because I might have said something stupid-which has been known to give me small anxiety attacks.) My dislike of hanging out with a bunch of women I don't know, procrastination(doing the homework earlier than the night before or the morning of), food choices(will I eat the pastries or the fruit?), there's probably more, but those are the big ones. I have also joined some small online forums and am trying to leave more comments on blogs in an effort to overcome my feelings of stupidity. 4 kids in 5 yrs has pretty much eradicated all my critical thinking skills. My brain is a mush pile. But I know the only way to make it better is to use it.
Right now I am trying to learn not to obsess over comments I make. It can take me an hour to write 3 sentences, and half the time I erase what i've written and don't leave anything. If I do post, I spend the next 24-48 hours fending off an anxiety attack. Basically all the classic signs of OCD are there. But I have mental hand-washing instead of physical hand washing. I discovered a few years ago that my obsession with reading was the ritual I use to clear my mind of the distracting and intrusive thoughts. So I guess I am doing my own cognitive behavioral therapy by forcing myself to participate.

It's about time to take the girl to school, so I will push the post button and try not worry that I've offended anyone. :)

Out to Lunch

Taking lunch to school is no longer the simple process it once was. My biggest struggle every morning, other than getting people to put their shoes on, is what to send for lunch. P. will not eat the school lunch, so I'd rather not waste my money. E. has to bring her lunch because there is no cafeteria. And unless you have a child in school you are probably wondering, what's wrong with a pb&j? Well, it could kill somebody. There were two incidences at P.'s school in the first week where paramedics had to be called and it was a life-threatening situation. Why are peanut allergies suddenly on the rise? It's an interesting question that I have no answer for. But I don't want to take the risk of having my child's lunch kill one of their friends. Plus P. won't eat peanut butter sandwiches. He doesn't like much in the way of food. When he turned 2 he stopped eating good food. I do take partial blame. I was pregnant with E. and nearly threw up everytime I opened the refrigerator, so we opted for foods that had low odor. Every year he adds one or two new foods to his repertoire. Here are the foods he will eat regularly:

Most cold cereals--this is how we sneak fiber in his diet.
Cheese
Milk
Water
pop-tarts
Pizza--cheese only
chips and crackers
granola bars-the chewy kind
waffles/pancakes
bread
pretzels
ice cream

You can probably see the theme--carbs.

When he's in the mood he will also eat:

watermelon
grapes
apples
carrots
bagels

Very rarely he will eat:
lunch meat
oranges

So packing a lunch for him is a nightmare. I try to vary it from week to week, switching out pretzels for chips, etc. But basically it's the same everyday. I tried sending him carrots last year. He didn't like that. I keep waiting for someone to call and tell me how unnutritious my sons lunch is and maybe I should send better food. But I decided somewhere along the way I would rather him eat something than nothing. And, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I was told that for years his father would only eat fries, ketchup and coke when they went out. His food preferences have expanded over the years, but there is still a rather limited pool to select from. And now Baby M is exhibiting all the classic signs of carb dependence. As with P. when he was a baby, I think it has to do a lot with texture and temperature. They will not touch anything wet, cold, or hot. Their food tends to be orange or brown. M. will fortunately still eat baby food, so I try to get him some greens that way. I have snuck in chunks of real food, and he will eat a few spoonfuls, then start batting the spoon away. Baby W, on the other hand, will eat whatever you put on his plate. Occasionally he will refuse something, but it is rare. He eats with quiet deliberation, delicately picking up his food one piece at a time, while his brother shovels his food in by the handful. E. will eat most things, too. My secret hope is that we will all one day sit down to a meal and everyone is eating the same thing. And it includes vegetables.

Questions

This morning my daughter asked me

why don't do anything?
I said what do you mean?
She said, Why are you just a grown-up. Why don't you have a job.
I explained how my job was being her mother.
What did you want to be when you were little? she asked.
A mom. I said.

She seemed disappointed in my answer. But it is true. I have never desired a career. When I explained that if I had a job I wouldn't be home to take care of her and her brothers, she seemed to understand a little more. So I asked her, would you like it if I was only home in time for dinner? And she decided it was okay that I didn't have a job.

I guess I should stop letting her watch the Barney video about you can be anything. I've noticed that housewife and mother are never included in the list of things you can be when you grow up.

In other news, I think I broke my little toe on Sunday. It hurts.

I am getting ready to send Val a rough draft of my novel. I know I still have a long way to go with it, but I am anxious to see what she thinks so far. I'm up to about 40,000 words. I'd like to make it to 70-80,000.

The girl started school yesterday. I did something I've rarely done and joined a women's bible study at a nearby church. My mother-in-law works there, so now she'll like seeing the twins more often. I'm not usually much of a joiner. I've done a few women's bible studies, but I knew everyone. I know one person at this one. We are doing a Beth Moore study on the Tabernacle. Apparently it was the first study she did and it has been updated. There is free childcare. The twins had a great time. Socializing can be stressful for me. But I had to get out of the house. The twins have gotten so attached to me that they cry when I walk IN the room as well as OUT of the room.

Baby W can climb up the couch. The other day I was at the computer and turned to check on the babies, who were playing in their little section of the living room, and W. was perched on the arm of the couch, looking over the back trying to decide if he could reach the floor from there. He's also getting pretty good at walking. He keeps me very busy.