Some recent pictures

Birthday

Hunting for Eggs at Grandmas

I've been postponing writing this post and feeling guilty about it. It was the girl's birthday on the 14th. But I haven't been much in the mood to say nice things about her. As her father just wrote on his blog, since she just turned five we are entering the third year of the terrible twos.

On a good day, she is a lovely, well-mannered, beautiful, sweet little girl.

The hardest part of learning to deal with her is the realization that she is very much like me.

This is our latest struggle. Despite the fact that I have told her she is beautiful just about every day of her life, she now equates her beauty with her clothes. We argue over her clothes most days. She told me the other day that if she doesn't wear pretty or fancy clothes, people don't tell her she is beautiful. So in her mind, if someone doesn't tell her she is, then she is not. And she's just five. I totally understand her need for affirmation, because I have it, too. Now I try to be careful about how I praise her looks. I tell her I think she has a beautiful face, and her dress is pretty, too. Or if she is wearing something plain and simple, I will still compliment her outfit as well as her self. The other morning Splitcat asked if I had seen what she was wearing. I said yes, I'd helped her put it on. Did it remind you of anyone he asked. She looked just like you. She apparently overheard this and later that day changed back into this outfit and asked me who she looked like. What I found surprising is that she wanted to look like me. It really makes you look at your self when someone wants to be like you.

I have a lot of compassion for her. I was sick and pregnant during a time when she needed me. She is the middle child. She is the only girl. In some ways I am proud of her because she will not allow herself to go unnoticed, in this she differs greatly from me. When she spends the night at her grandmas, the whole atmosphere of our house changes. It is very quiet. Even without her saying anything, the atmosphere revs back up when she comes home. I am not so proud of the way she usually chooses to make her presence known, but I hope she always fights for herself. I see the makings of a strong and compassionate woman in her, and I can only pray that the Lord gives me the grace to teach her and train her up.

To end on a happy note. She has finally entered the world of dolls. She got a new "grown-up" doll for her birthday, so now we are acquiring matching outfits for her and her dolls(the dress she is wearing above came with a doll dress). I made her a really cute one of black with white polka dots. She is a very good momma to her dolls, making sure they put their coats on when we go outside, and wrapping them in blankets at bedtime.

I love you, E. Happy fifth birthday.

At long last, I finally got some pictures of my room. The first 2 pictures are the before. And yes, that is a crying baby in the middle of my bed. I can't believe it's been a year since I took these.




Here are the after pictures.

I moved the dresser to where the entertainment center was and put this small nightstand where the dresser was. I got the vanity table last spring and I love it. One day I'd like to have all the furniture be ivory colored, and I have a brass bed, but it needs a serious polish, and I haven't had the time. I also have a different duvet cover, it is all ivory with embroidery. but it needs to be ironed. So I can go between the quilt and the duvet cover to change the look a little.

I still haven't totally decided on all my artwork. I tend to change things alot. Sorry I couldn't get wider pictures, my room room is fairly small.

So there it is.

What can you say but Wow.

It's been a while. I had a good time on my retreat. It was a little weird to have nothing to do but wander around and pray, but weird in a good way.

Since my last few posts have been about illness, I decided I should write about something frivolous.

But what?

There's American Idol. I have never really been a fan, but I would watch the final few episodes. For some reason I started watching this season. When the final 24 episode came around, I still didn't have a favorite picked, but I liked the guys better than the girls. Then, out of nowhere, this guy with long dreadlocks comes out and I have my favorite. Yes, I will admit it here. I am a Jason Castro fan. You can look him up on youtube if you care. He appeared practically nowhere in the early episodes, mostly because they couldn't get permission to air the songs he sang. So I had no idea what he was going to sound like. Vocally, David Archuleta is way better, but he lacks something. I always feel like I am watching a chorus concert soloist. You don't get a sense of style, but his voice is amazing. Jason has a style of his own. The videos of him singing before Idol on youtube cemented my decision. So. As embarrassing as it is. I'm a fan. But I don't vote.

Which leads me to a question I have been thinking of posting. What is something you have never done?

I've never voted on a reality show
I've never ridden a real train
I've never sent a text message


On another subject entirely, I have tentatively found a church. I've been going since Thanksgiving, but I've missed alot. I've had a hard time catching the vibe, so I decided to go on wed nights to get to meet people. There are about 1000 people in the congregation. My main concerns were that it was an offshoot of the non-movement known as the emerging church or that it was a seeker-friendly church. I asked the teacher tonight if they were affiliated with either of these things, and he told me no. I was relieved. What I really like about this church is that the teaching is very simple and straight forward, and out of the Bible instead of the latest Christian self-help book. I think this is where I am supposed to be for now, of course, that can change. I have two new friends to take with me. The little girls(they are 9 and 10) who live next door went with me this past Sunday. They live with their dad, grandad, and 16 yr old uncle. So since I was nice to them, they've kind of latched on. When I mentioned I was going to church, the younger girl immediately asked if she could go with me, then her sister wanted to go, too. They are very lonely.

I guess that is all. I should go to bed now.