Requiem for a Car

Last Friday my car died. We assumed it was fixable, after all, this was our "good" car. As I cleaned out several layers of clothes/toys/dead chicken nuggets, I felt as though I was saying a final farewell. On Monday we received the sad news that is would take several thousand dollars to repair. We opted to let it go peacefully to car heaven. When my sone asked me where our car was yesterday, I had a senior moment and told him it died. He cried, very loudly, in my front yard. I told him daddy was buying us a new car, and it was silver. "But I want the blue car" he wailed, very loudly, in my front yard. Then he remembered his stickers on the windows. As I was buckling him in my borrowed car he said, "did my stickers die, too?" Unfortunately, I understand how he feels. It wasn't so much the car, but the memories, bringing home my children from the hospital, taking them to the emergency room. But, on the other hand........


I"VE GOT A BRAND NEW CAR!!!!!!!!!

It looks basically like this . We got a fresh off the truck '06 Corolla. When splitcat pulled into our driveway it had 15 miles on it. Neither of us has ever had a new car before. It is a little surreal. But wonderful. We can go on trips again. We'll just have to all sleep in the car.

Landon Snow and the Auctor's Riddle

Landon Snow and the Auctor’s Riddle by R.K. Mortenson is this month’s selection for the Christian Fiction Blogging Alliance. I have been looking forward to reading this novel because I have a great affection for children’s literature. I wasn’t really sure what to expect. I have not read much Christian literature for children outside of George MacDonald and C.S. Lewis. Was I going to be preached at? Was I going to read a “Christian” Harry Potter knock-off? I was more than pleasantly surprised when I discovered that Landon Snow is none of the above. It is more akin to Alice in Wonderland, or perhaps even Phantastes. And in my book, that is a very good thing. While I was reminded in various places of books I have read before, I never felt that I was reading an imitation. And I was delighted when certain phrases leapt off the page at me, clamoring for attention, because they were fraught with meaning.
This book does what has become unusual in much fiction. It makes you use (dare I say it?) your imagination. When Landon falls into the Book of Meanings to search for the answer to the Auctor’s Riddle, he must learn that not every question has an answer, but every question has a meaning. He must come to the understanding that nothing is chance and that the hand of God guides the beautiful order of the universe.
I believe that the gift of Understanding is an important one for the next few generations, as the world becomes a stranger and darker place. Landon Snow guides the next generation closer to the knowledge and understanding of how truly awesome is the Creator.
I am loathe to part with this novel before I read it again, but I really want to let my nephews, ages 8 and 10, read it to get their response. I am often asked to recommend books, and it is a relief to find an intelligent and imaginative work of fiction to recommend to the tween audience. I believe the next installment is due out this spring, and I will definitely be adding it to my collection of young adult and children’s literature. I can’t wait for my children to be old enough to enjoy this novel because I will know that not only are they safe with Landon Snow, but they will also be brought closer to their Auctor.

Comes a Horseman

Hello All. In the interest of having something to write about besides my frequent trips to the doctor or e.r., I will now be occasionally reviewing new books by Christian authors. As some of you know, and the rest of you don't, I am attempting to complete a novel. This journey has led me to some interesting places and has allowed me to meet some new and nifty people. Part of this journey has been an exploration of the Christian book market.

I was very turned off in my teen years by Christian novels because the market was dominated by romance fiction. Now, I'm all for romance, but it can get old in novel form, kind of like Nancy Drew(read one, you've read them all). I ate up the early Frank Peretti's because they were new and different. But there wasn't much else out there in the Christian book world that I wanted to read. So I kind of gave up on it. I worked at a Christian bookstore in college. I can't recall any book from that time that made me want to read what I was selling. I'm sure there were some good books out there, but I had no way of knowing which ones were worth the money.

So, back to the present....In researching my market(since I am writing Christian fiction) I have discovered a whole new world of Christian fiction, and frankly, I'm kind of excited about it. While there is still plenty out there for the romance fans, there are many more authors trying to make the Christian book market a more diverse place.

Hanging out at sites for Christian writers has given me a new perspective. It also lets me know what or who I should be reading. This month's buzz is for Comes a Horseman by Robert Liparulo . It is about a pair of FBI agents on the trail of a conspiracy involving the Anti-christ. Now I know what you are thinking(especially you, splitcat), that does sound formulaic, but after reading the Amazon reviews I think I must read it. Generally, I don't pay much attention to the hype that the publisher provides, they obviously want the book to sell. However, if someone takes the time to write a review, they must have liked it. It apparently is in the top 100 bestselling thrillers on Amazon, and seems to be one of those rare books that lives on the boundary line between Christian and secular, appealing to a wide variety of people. Apparently, the movie rights have also been sold recently. The brief excerpt I read on Mr. Liparulo's website definitely made me want to read more. Once I've actually read the book, I will let you know what I think. It would make me very happy to find more Christian authors to enjoy.

I must say that it is encouraging to know that Christian fiction, as well as fiction by Christian authors(yes, there is a difference) is making itself known to the rest of the world.

A quiz

Quiz results of Which Classic Story Role do You Play:


- You Are The Outlaw
"Sure, I'll do it. My
way."

Just because you do not conform to the same laws
and rules as everyone else does not mean that
you are a bad guy. You travel your own path,
separate from those around you, with your own
reasons for doing what you do. Because of this
and your own nature, it goes without saying
that you are generally misunderstood. That does
not matter much, though, as people love you for
being who you are. You are pretty well set in
your ways and have no real intention of
changing. This can come across as a flicker of
arrogance if your not careful. You do what is
right for you, and God help anyone who stands
in your way.

Which Classic Story Role Do You Play?

Stuff

First I'd like to give a shout out to Lindsey for helping me today. Due to her help I have been able to sort through a box of paper from my past. I stumbled across quite a bit of poetry I wrote in High School. I was going to post some of it, but its really bad. I went through a phase of writing silly poetry. I may post some in the future, if I'm bored. But then I came across a poem I wrote a few years ago that is one of my favorites. So even if you think it's no good, I like it, so there.

In the middle of it all
Under cloudy trees and bluish skies
In medias res
On the sea green grass
The wind stirs and sighs and heaves
And the sun shines brightly in its heavens
And I sit with my back against the rough bark
Of some unknown tree
That stretches skyward without bending or swaying
Its arms stretching to encompass the earth
In its far reaching embrace.

I watch the world from this vantage point
Wondering and waiting
Sheltered from any storms that fill the sky
With purple clouds and gray rains.

I often sit and think about the tree behind me
I have almost forgotten what it looks like
I think it has leaves of gold
And I think it’s really tall
And in the spring I feel it bleed.

Sometimes I fell like turning around
But I am comfortable and warm.
With my back turned the wind might blow
And the storms may rage
And I may find myself unprotected.

Then the winter comes
And I grow cold
And some compelling force
Turns me around
Until I am kneeling in the snow
And my tears fall like raindrops
And they warm the earth below me
And my blessed tree covers me.

I hope you enjoyed that.

Feeling Better

For those who care, I am feeling much better today. I must have had a sinus infection that was putting pressure on my very sensitive teeth and gums.

I went to a dinner for my husband's school last night. We go because it's free. I like free. Plus, I get to dress up. This year, Splitcat hosted a table, so my sister and her husband came, My grandmother, Splitcat's parents and brother, and two strangers(one was a mom of a student). This is a fundraising dinner. Last year the speaker was Oliver North. This year was Zell Miller. I was a little confused why Zell, a Democrat, was speaking. But after he spoke I understood. He was very good. He spoke on the loss of morality in today's society and how that affects schools. He supported christian education because it allowed the teaching of moral standards and general decency. He apparently got reacquainted with the Lord in recent years. He was still uncomfortable talking about his faith, but he realized how important it was to share, and not hide his light under a bush. I am fairly good at detected falseness, but he was so completely genuine, it was refreshing. It is amazing how a relationship with the Lord can change a person's life.

The food was ok. It was free. A former student gave a testimony and sang. It was really beautiful. So, a nice time was had by all. And Splitcat and I had our pictures made with Zell. With my heels on, I was taller than both of them.

Guess where I went today...

If you are a faithful reader, you'll know. Yes, I went to the emergency room. Except this time it was for myself. I started having an excruciating ache in my upper jaw yesterday. Normally I can take some pain reliever and it's ok. And that worked the first time. But shortly after going to bed, it wore off. My mouth started throbbing so I got back up out of bed and took some more medicine. This time it didn't help. So I was up all night. I found some boots I want and got to watch Bend it like Beckham. But mostly I tried to refrain from hysterics. The pain would occasionally subside, then come throbbing back worse than ever. By this morning I was in tears everytime the pain started up. Since I have a pretty high level of pain tolerance, and it was reducing me to tears, I decided I better go to the er. They weren't terribly helpful. Their best guess was an infection of some sort. Which was my guess, since the pain is above where I had extensive dental work done last winter. So they gave me an antibiotic and some percoset, which has me pleasantly giddy and 97% pain free, so if my writing seems strange, that's why. Soon I will be blissfully asleep. If I still have pain in 3-5 days I need to go to the oral surgeon. So all you people who pray, please pray that I don't have to go, that this antibiotic will kill whatever the problem is. If you like creative miracles, feel free to pray for three new teeth.

In better news, I gave my husband a digital camera for his birthday, I also got a photoprinter that will be virtually free once I send in the rebates. It is a compact, 5.1 mp camera. It made him very happy. He's been snapping nature pics every chance he gets. so now I can post photos more often of different things.

Well, the eyelids are drooping. So I best be going. Peace

Tagged Again!

I've been Tagged...

1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions. Ponder it for meaning, subtext or hidden agendas...
5. Tag five people to do the same.

Well, my last entry was my 23rd. So let's see.....

It sounded like her "P. just took something from me" scream.

Hmm, hidden agendas and subtext. I sense a sigh of resignation that my child likes to utter ear piercing, glass shattering screams with or without provocation. Obviously, P. takes her stuff pretty frequently, since that situation has its own scream. I'm not sure there is any hidden meaning to the sentence.

So... I tag......

4boydad
Splitcat Chintzibobs

I don't know anyone else who blogs.

Guess Who Can Reach the Kitchen Counter! OR Another Exciting Unplanned Visit to the Doctor

For my husband's version go here

Here is my version

It was a typical day trying to get everyone out the door to take P. to school. I issued orders to wait at the top of the stairs while I got my shoes and P. some socks. While looking frantically for the previously mentioned items, E. started screaming. Since she screams about everything, I assumed she was just mad. It sounded like her "P. just took something from me" scream. So being the loving mother that I am, the first words out of my mouth were, "P.! giver her back my purse!"(cause she was holding my purse, and now she wasn't) He handed it back to her, but she was still screaming and rubbing her eyes. As I approached the unmistakeable scent of orange cleaner wafted through the air. Sigh. Yes, she sprayed herself in the face. Later in the day I questioned both children, because I realized that P. may have done it. But E. said he didn't.

I am typically calm in an emergency situation(unless it involves vomit or roaches), so I quickly stripped her and threw her in the tub. I ran water down her face for a couple of minutes, then ran and phoned the dr. They gave me the number for poison control. The atlanta poison control people are very nice. I was relieved to hear that the cleaner she used was not caustic and would not burn. But I was told to flush her eyes for another five minutes and to call back if they didn't show signs of improvement in 30 minutes. Then the man told me how to flush her eyes.

I had to wrap her tightly in a towel and lay her in the tub. Then I had to pour tepid water over her eyes. This sounds easy. But a 36 lb 2 yr old is a formidable foe. It also didn't help that all I kept picturing in my mind as I poured water in her eyes, was a framed picture of Ophelia by John Everett Millais. This was heightened by the fact that I had kept the water running and a loose toy was preventing the water from draining. I was concentrating on keeping the water out of her nose and mouth, so I saw the water rising, but wasn't overly concerned until she suddenly starts freaking out(well, freaking out worse than she already was). I guess it hit her ears. At this point she also managed to free her legs from her towel wrap. Have you ever given a cat a bath? This was a similar experience. And it hadn't been anything like five minutes. Once I got the tub drained, she laid relatively quietly again.

I was impressed at how well she took it. She even kept her eyes open for me. So when the phone rang(the nurse at the dr. office) I decided we had all had enough. I don't ever want to do that again. Thankfully, she hasn't held it against me. But that night she kept whimpering in her sleep. I told my husband that she was probably dreaming about me drowning her.

A not very quick trip to the dr. revealed no lasting damage, but they did a cool test where they put dye in her eyes and used a black light to see if her eyes were scratched. Thankfully, they were not. A trip to McD's soothed all our souls.

Something Unusual

I stopped by church today to pick up my paycheck. As I was walking up the sidewalk I saw a large green and black bristly object. I figured some little girl had lost her hairbrush. As I got closer it began to move. Here is what I saw:

I Had to get the ladies in the office to look at it so I wouldn't think I was hallucinating. It was HUGE! A quick google told me that it is a Hickory Horned Devil. It turns into a moth. A very large moth. Here is the site I got the pictures from http://www.hilarynelson.com/Hobbies/Bugs/HickoryHornedDevilCaterpillar/

He's got some more pics.

That was my excitement for the day.

Here are pics of the murals my sister and I have been working on.

Bragging

I have been crocheting lately. I usually don't finish, but I had a reason this time.

I gave it away to someone. My mother told me the lady I gave it to wore it to church this morning, and looked great. Another lady put in an order for one. I stayed up late last night and made the same pattern in a fluffy white yarn for my mother to give to a friend. It looks totally different, but is very beautiful. (and yes, I am aware of my poor grammar this afternoon. but I find I'm too tired to care)

A Lament for Goldie

Our fish, Goldie, died last night. We are amazed that he made it this long. I bought him at Walmart. I gave him to my son for his last birthday, in January. No one thought Goldie would live out the first week. But he made it through the last 8 months. I did not know I was attached to Goldie until I found him, lifeless, at the bottom of his tank. I had just remarked a few hours earlier that he seemed to recognize me when I walked by. When I conducted the solemn rite of toilet flushing this morning, I got a little teary-eyed. It was sad because I remembered how excited P. was that I got him a fish. It was one of those moments when all was well between us. I had the pleasure of giving him a gift he had not asked for, and seeing the joy it brought to his little life.

P. was more confused than anything when I told him Goldie had died. He asked a lot of questions about if other things die, like cats, and dogs, and soap. A few minutes later he became really still and took a deep breath and asked, Do people die? But he handled it well and suggested that we just get another fish and call it Goldie.

Monday Miscellany

I haven't posted for a while, so I figured I should. I don't have anything too specific to talk about though, so I am borrowing from my dh and having a miscellany day.

Painting-I am currently quite busy painting murals on the walls in the nursery rooms at church. It is really quite fun, but tiring. It has inspired me to rethink my children's rooms. I have always wanted to do murals, but was afraid. I think I could do it now.

School-P. starts his new school tomorrow. It will be weird to not be able to walk by and peek in his classroom to see what he is doing. I have always known that letting them start their own separate life would be hard for me. I like knowing what they do all day. I guess it's the part of me that won't put down a book until I finish. I like knowing all the details and how things end. I am excited for P. I think this will be good for him and for me.

No school-I will not be returning to the MMO this year. I am a little sad, especially since the room is finally being redone, but I am more happy that I will not be working. Those three hours that P. will be gone are looking awfully precious.

Bedtime-P. is usually pretty good about going to bed. Last night, however, I heard him crying. Usually it means there is a bug in his room. But last night, I'm not sure what set him off. I kinda think he must have fallen asleep and had a bad dream then woke up. But his face was puffy from crying, so he must have been crying for a while. I did actually feel a little guilty that I did not hear him sooner. He said, "I cried and you didn't come!" That didn't make me feel any better. I comforted him and tried to find out what was wrong, but he wouldn't tell me. During the middle of an incoherent ramble, he asked me for a picture of me and his dad. I obliged with a picture of us before we were married. He just gazed at it, but he still didn't want me to leave. A few minutes later, I convinced him I needed to go, that he could just talk to my picture, "but pictures don't talk" he said. I finally promised to come check on him in a little while. He manfully held back his tears, I could tell it was hard for him, the corners of his mouth couldn't have possibly gotten any lower. I told him I was very proud of him for letting me leave, and that he was a big boy. His parting comment was,"big boys cry sometimes?" I really hated to leave him, but E. was alone in the living room. This is not a good thing. I was planning on putting E. to bed in a few minutes so I could check on P. Then she started choking. I was convinced she had swallowed a small plastic animal. She stopped choking, but her eye was all red. Then half of her face got puffy and red, and she said her eye hurt. I am trying to decide if I should take her to the e.r. Her daddy is looking up possible causes of eye pain and says across the room, "is it shingles?" I'm thinking pink eye, or a sinus infection that has leaked into the skin(which has happened to her before) or just plain allergies, but in the back of my mind I'm still wondering if she swallowed a small plastic animal. I finally just give her an anti-histamine and put her in the pack-n-play and she falls asleep. At some point during all the worry, splitcat goes upstairs to check on P. for me. He informs me that he is laying in bed gazing at the picture I gave him. By the time I made it upstairs, he was asleep. So the first thing he says to me this morning? "Momma, you didn't come check on me." p.s. either the prayer or the antihistamine worked, e. was fine in about 30 minutes.

E.-since I'm usually moaning about her various illnesses, here is a brief, aww isn't she cute(with a little moaning). Two nights ago, E. wouldn't go to sleep, so I brought her back downstairs(end motherly complaint). splitcat was watching Batman (the cartoon from the early nineties, which is still one of my favs) E. got really into it. Not too far into the second episode, she picked up a dark blue throw and slung it over her head and said....."I'm Batman"

Complaining-I do whine alot about the various illnesses and what not, so this is just to say that I do find my children to be very delightful. Usually. :) Maybe I should always end a blog with something I like about the people in my family.

Something good about my family:

splitcat: patience

P.-I like how he doesn't care how other people think about him. I also like how he flaps his wings(his hands) every time I pick him up. Yes, it looks goofy, but I know it makes him feel special. In his mind he really is flying. I don't want him to lose his imagination.

E.--I like the way she randomly points to her fingernails and says "more." (Because I painted her fingernails a couple of times she always wants her nails painted) Why do I like this. Because she is already a girly girl. She loves to wear dresses and fix her hair and wear lots of jewelry. Though I am wondering how this will all pan out when she hits 13.

It is the end of a long conference day. I am still working out all I've heard today. While none of the messages was necessarily new to me, I realized that it is important to be reminded of the things we know about God. When our eyes are turned more toward ourselves than Heaven we begin to forget the message of the cross. When we lose ourselves in the miry clay of the world, sometimes we forget that His hand is always extended and poised to pull us free. We just have to reach out and take it.

The worship today was astounding. This morning was Todd Ganovski, and this afternoon and evening was led by Merchant Band. If you don't like intense worship, I will not recommend these people to you. It can be both loud and strangely silent. There is no pressure to do all the right worship things. You may sit or stand, dance or lay on your face. I'm not telling which I did :). What has impacted me most, both last year and this year, is how I can see the light of God in the faces of these people. They have set themselves apart, and it shows. Tonight's teaching was on being set apart, like John the Baptist. Living a life of fasting and prayer.

I have had much on my mind and heart lately about being set apart, about what it means to be a christian. So I had some confirmation on some things I have been thinking.

I think I am too tired to say much more, so good night.

I'll be away this weekend at the OneThing Conference. We had a wonderful time last night, two more days to go. I expect to be thouroughly tired, hoarse, and wonderful by the end. But I already miss my family. Hi guys!!

Put Your Foot Down, It's Party Time

We had quite the party weekend, and I am only just recovering. On Friday evening we went to a birthday bash for my mother-in-law. It was quite a party, she wanted to do something to thank all the people who had helped them out over the past year as she recovered from her surgery and subsequent near-death experience. It was really nice to see all these people and how much they appreciate my mother-in-law. She is the person who will do anything for anybody. We try to tell her it's ok to say no, but she won't. It wasn't easy for her to let so many people help her, but they were able to repay her for all the kindnessess she has done for them.

Saturday, we went to the in-laws to visit with the out-of-towners. We stayed up late playing Acquire and Texas Hold-em Yahtzee. I had a really great time. Unfortunately our sleeping schedules(and by "we" I mean E.) got all out of whack. So if I look like death warmed over, it's because that's how I feel.

I'd like to give a shout out to my sister for the fortitude she has shown this week in sending her kids to public school.

Today we went on a play date with my college roommate's little girls. I am so glad to have found some more children that P. likes. It's been great visiting again with my friend, too. I find it amazing that even after ten years, mostly apart, we still have that subtle understanding of one another that comes when you live in a 15x15 cement block room with the same person for two years.

That's all the news for now, I guess. It's hard to blog when all you can think about is the next time you get to sleep.

Another Exciting Evening

Since I put E. back in her crib I haven't had too much trouble with her at bedtime. Tonight I have been hearing her off and on for a while. Then, of course, the crying began. With P. I knew every subtle nuance of his cries and what they meant. E. has a much more limited repertoire of cries, mostly they're just loud. So when I heard a hoarsely uttered wailing cry, that was not excessively loud, I figured something must be wrong. I guessed she need a diaper change. Well, As I mounted the stairs I knew for sure that she needed a diaper change. I did not expect, however, to find her bathed in blood, as I did. She tearfully told me she needed a wipe. A wipe would be about as useful as the band-aid I gave my sister when she had a tinker toy lodged in the roof of her mouth. It was just a nose-bleed. But she did a great job spreading it all over her face, hands, and knees, as well as her clothes. Fortunately, it had not yet occurred to her to use it as finger paint(since she has used other bodily emissions for that purpose, it's not a far-fetched idea).

Conversation Overheard

While folding laundry this morning I heard the following in the hallway:

"I'm going to go mess up my room. Come on E. You want to help me mess up my room?"

I enjoy the conversations between my children. Especially when P. tries to teach E. words that even he cannot pronounce. He's been teaching her numbers and colors. She may always believe that 11 is pronounced a-wen-a. Oh well. At least he is trying to help her.

The Return of Vaudeville, or Music Soothes the Savage Beast

I have a confession. I put E.'s crib back together. I just couldn't take anymore. Apparently neither could she. She very visibly relaxed when I put her back in. This is the girl who wanted to be tightly swaddled until she was about 8 months old. I guess there is a certain comfort in the confinement of a crib. But we had gotten into a bad cycle of staying up late and not napping. So last night, I put her to bed at 8:30. She was very exhausted. So she did her usually hysterics, but I wouldn't let her out. So I started singing. After a few rounds of "You are my Sunshine" she started to calm. I'm not sure what song came next, but it was enough for her to release her vice-like grip on me and stop crying. I figured I was on to something. So I went into my very limited repertoire of children's songs. If you say a first line, I actually know quite a number of these, but left to my own devices, I can remember about five. At the end of that five she was sitting down. So I launched into my favorite children's church songs. After "Jesus Loves Me" and "Jesus loves the Little Children" I got stuck. Sudden Inspiration!!. "Father Abraham!" For those of you unfamiliar with this classic, it involves ever increasing body motions. She actually laid down to watch the show. She would occasionally grin at my antics. Ok, I thought, time to slow it down(after all, isn't that what happens in a lot of worship services, you sing fast, you sing slow). So I sang "It is well with my soul." Her blinks became heavy. After a few rounds of the previous I got into the chorus of "How Great Thou Art." She took that last breath of relaxation and her eyes closed a final time.

There were two things I got out of this. 1. She was asleep before 9:00 for the first time in over a week. 2. A pretty good little worship time for myself.

It's nice to win sometimes.

Movies

Okay, here it is

Movie meme:
1. What was the last movie you watched?

Besides the Baby Einstein series, I think it was Batman Begins.

2. What was the last movie you bought?

For myself? I have no idea. I think the last movie someone gave me was Pirates of the Caribbean

3. What was the last movie you went to a theater to see?

Batman Begins-which is a great movie. I'm still divided on whether or not Christian Bale is a good Batman. On one hand, he's Christian Bale, on the gripping hand, he was a little more stiff than I had hoped, but stiff in a very Batman way. On the whole, I hope he gets cast again.

4. What is the movie you have seen the most?

Dune(the one from 1984). In high school I watched it(the 4-hr version) every school holiday and at least once a week in the summer. Once I had the books I read them nearly as frequently. I have had to cease my Dune activities because I get lost on Arrakis for at least a week and am totally useless(Ok, more useless than normal). The Atreides take over my mind and I start thinking like them. And if you've never read the books, you won't understand. If you have, you know what I'm talking about.

5. What are the 5 movies you like the most?

Dune
Rebecca
Jane Eyre
Matrix
Pride and Prejudice(the really long one they show on A&E)

6. Tag 5, yada yada.

I tag Because I Said So. I won't tag her for the books though.

Anonymous

Gentle readers (Lisa and Lindsey)

I have fixed my comments section to allow anonymous posts, just in case you ever want to leave a comment.

Blackberries

I skipped church tonight to pick blackberries. I dropped my children off in their respective classrooms, and went to the gym to see if anyone showed up for youth group(where I am a "youth coach"). It was all guys and they were playing dodgeball, the majority of the group is in NY for a mission trip. I wandered up to see if my sister needed help, but she had it under control, so I found some cups and set off on a blackberry hunt.

Blackberries are my favorite. They have a really short growing season, so that makes them that much more special. A few weeks ago we were early for church so the children and I went on a nature walk around the parking lot. To my utter delight, the back parking lot was surrounded by blackberry blossoms. I have been patiently waiting for the fruit to ripen.

So tonight I set forth on a nature walk of my own. It was cool, the air was misty and it was nearing twilight. It was raining in a rather desultory way, reminding me of many summer church camps, walking to and from the cafeteria delighting in the cool splash of rain on a hot summer day. I caught a faint whiff of honeysuckle as I carefully picked the few ripened berries I found. A few feet further I saw that there was indeed some late blooming honeysuckle hidden in the corner. I drank deeply of the scent and allowed the nostalgia of past springtimes to wash over me briefly. I continued my search for ripe berries. I was quite taken with the beauty of the blackberry vines. The mix of red, green, and black. There was a completeness to its beauty.

I realized as I was standing in the rain that I felt utterly peaceful. I was completely alone. I had a thought that maybe I should be thinking deep thoughts about God or praying or doing something generally useful with my brain. But I felt a quiet nudge in my heart that it was okay to not think, but to enjoy standing in the rain pondering the beauty of blackberry vines.

Elmo?

I took my children to the movies for the first time today. I chose to take them to the free movie because, well, it's free(except for the $200 I paid for popcorn and drinks). Our movie choices were Elmo in Grouchland and Garfield. Being the wise mother that I am, I chose Elmo in Grouchland. After all, it's Elmo.

If you know me you may be wondering why my 4-yr old has never been to the movies. I can sum it up in 2 words. Dark. Loud. P. is an exceedingly sensitive child. The mere mention of the word fireworks can send him running and screaming, and it has been over a year since I traumatized him by going to Stone Mountain for the Laser Show. He asked every night for 6 months if there would be fireworks.

So, feeling a dire need to get out of the house, I loaded up my two and my 11 yr old niece, who was willing to sit through Elmo. All is well. We get our snacks. The previews come on. P. is a little scared, but doing ok. He happily munches his popcorn and sips his drink. E. is having a wonderful time eating popcorn. The lights dim, the movie begins. P. ceases all actions and melds his arms to the armrests and his back to the cushion behind him. His eyes widen. But he doesn't say anything. I look over at him from time to time and he hasn't moved. It occurs to me that he looks like a little old man on his first roller coaster ride. Enter the villain. Exit us.

I assumed that the pitiful wail issuing from P.'s lips would disturb the other occupants of the theatre. We made it 45 minutes. E. was loving every minute of it. P. was still crying when we got to the car. A trip to the wal mart to look at the fish hopefully redeemed me.

I've been tagged!!!!!

4boydad tagged me. So here are my answers(with a little bit of info stolen from splitcat).

1. How many books have I owned? (I stole this answer from splitcat and made it my own. I like to make him do all the work)

I don't know. I have about 14 bookcases in my home. They all hold books. Two hold SF and Fantasy, two hold general fiction, two hold mystery/suspense, one holds YA, two hold sewing/craft, one holds non-fiction theology/devotional, one holds a mish-mash of textbooks, anthologies, etc, two hold history and Star Wars Lego models, two hold children's books. And yes, I have read 90% of them multiple times. To illustrate the seriousness of my book addiction. I gave up novel reading for Lent. It was painful, but the Lord really blessed me for being obedient. You can get a lot done when your nose isn't stuck in a book.

2. What was the last book you bought?
The last NEW book I bought was Sunshine by Robin McKinley. But more recently I traded some books at a used book store. I bought a Gordon Dickson, Patricia McKillip, William Sleator, and a few others I don't remember.

3. The last book that you've read?

Four Faultless Felons by G.K. Chesterton. I had forgotten how much I enjoy Chesterton.

4. List five books that mean alot to you.

a. The Bible-self explanatory
b. At the Back of the North Wind by George MacDonald. This is a simply delightful, and sad book. It is filled to the brim with little pearls of wisdom.
c. Lirael by Garth Nix. I enjoyed the whole Abhorsen trilogy, but this one just really stuck with me.
d. What's Mine's Mine, by George MacDonald. It is very moralistic, but a very true description of how our lives should look as Christians.
e. The Hero and the Crown, and the Blue Sword by Robin McKinley. I just really like them.



5. Tag five people that haven't played yet
I don't know five bloggers, If I ever do, I guess I'll have to tag them.

Another day, another trip to the E.R.

The day started innocently enough....

My sister and I planned a trip to Goodwill. I was excited. Then while E. was playing with her daddy, she got hurt. She usually just shakes it off, but it was obvious she was in some discomfort. I decided to wait a couple of hours and see if she got better. Of course she didn't. So I found the nearest urgent care center to Goodwill(since we went ahead with our plans). They told me to go to the hospital since she was so little. Then I remembered an interesting tidbit of info I received when my son fractured his elbow. The hospital closest to my house will not set broken bones. You have to go to the children's hospital near downtown Atlanta. So, just in case something was broken, I gathered up my mother(because I wasn't going to drive on 400 alone) and we set off.

I must say that is was the best ER experience I have ever had. It took longer to get there than for us to be seen, diagnosed, x-rayed, fixed, and sent on our merry way. She had nursemaid's elbow. Apparently, when the dr. was examining her, the ligament that was out of whack was fixed. It was the only time she cried, and by the time we went to x-ray and back, she was perfectly normal. She started picking things up, talking(she hadn't said a word all day.) It was very weird. But I am so glad she didn't break anything. We've had enough of that for this year.

Theology and the four-year old

Since Easter my son has been trying to figure out exactly who Jesus is. For a while he would wake up in the night and want to have theological discussions about the nature of God. I am not at my best at 2:00 in the morning, but since this is important I would try to answer his questions as well as possible. After all, I was saved at his age. Since he has been attending a church sponsored Mother's Morning Out program, they talked about the Easter story. He apparently zoned out during the resurrection part of the story because he argued with me for several months that Jesus died on the cross. Period. End of Story. He was so convincing that I asked his teachers if they had told the whole story. They assured me they had. I'm not sure he still really understands, but he seems to accept the notion that Jesus is still around. He will occasionally, at random moments, ask me if Jesus or God lives in his heart. The other day at lunch we had one of these discussions. "momma, Jesus and God live in my heart." They do? I asked. When did you ask them to live in your heart? "While I was asleep. I saw them." And what did they say? I asked. "Nothing. They just stood there."

Well, I'm not sure what to make of that. He had been having bad dreams a few months ago, so we would pray that Jesus would give him nice dreams. But he was concerned that he couldn't see Jesus. So I had him pray that he would dream about Jesus. So I wonder if he did? It is so hard to tell with him. But he was so serious when he told me, I have a feeling it happened.

Then he asked, "Does God live in heaven?" Yes, God lives in heaven. He thought for a minute. "Then is heaven in my heart?"

Milestones

Yesterday I took down my daughter's crib. I didn't cry, but it was a bittersweet moment. The Crib has been up for a little over four years. The kids are close enough that we didn't have to take it down. E. (my daughter) is almost two and a half. She has been enjoying playing quietly in her brother's room and lying in his bed. So I guessed it was time for the big move. I've been delaying until I could get her a toddler bed, her room is too small for a twin, but I haven't had the funds recently to buy one. So I decided to just put her mattress on the floor. I spent a couple of hours rearranging and child proofing. The results were better than I expected. It is a sweet little girl's room. I took E. in and showed her around. She got a huge giddy grin and kept saying "my rune? my rune?" I said, "Yes, this is your room" She hopped and bounced and touched everything. I left her to play in her space. Because everyone needs their own space.

She took a nap in her new bed, but I had to lay next to her on the floor until she fell asleep. At dinner, she still had the giddy grin. We were chatting amongst ourselves when we noticed that she was trying to say something. She said momma a few times, then nigh-nigh, then fixed, until finally she took a big breath, looked at her daddy and said haltingly, "Momma feexed my nigh-nigh" (nigh-nigh is what she calls beds). She has said four-five word sentences before, but I have never seen her speak with such deliberation. She knew what she wanted to say, and worked until she got it. It was a proud moment. I did almost cry because I did something to make her happy. There is not a whole lot you can do to make a 2 yr old happy outside of cookies. for my husband's blog on this go here(it's the one called momma feexed my nigh nigh).

I am really enjoying the fact that E. talks to me. Her brother didn't start really talking until he was three. He more than made up for that yesterday. My husband gave me a new PS2 game for my birthday. So of course I have been playing. Well, for about 30 minutes yesterday P. (my son) talked non-stop asking me questions about the game. "Are you died? Did he died? Why? Why? Why? Are you done? Can you go somewhere else? Why?" etc. I finally quit playing because I couldn't handle all the questions.

Today he was playing his favorite game, Spyro the Dragon(the very first one). He is quite content to play the same level multiple times, and his game is definitely improving. But I got a big kick out of listening to his own personal commentary on the game. He would mutter an occasional "cool" or "I'm coming through"(which he got from another game that his cousin plays) and my personal favorite "I am angry"(as he flames a bad guy).

I learn the most about P. by listening to his conversations with himself. He will sit in his room in the morning and play and sing. I wonder if I will be sitting outside his room in ten years hoping to catch him being himself. I enjoy my children immensely. I really hope that in time they will learn to enjoy me.

Where does the time go

Wow, it's been a long time since I started this blog. Not too terribly much has happened, but then I started thinking about the small things.

My son managed to break his collarbone, giving us another exciting opportunity to visit the children's ER. I only waited 2 days after it happened to take him. I am such a good mother. (Actually, it happened at my mother's house and she told me he was fine. Why shouldn't I believe my mother?) But he wasn't in much pain, he just couldn't lift his arm up. It only took a couple of weeks to heal.

Thinking about what in my life could be considered an inconvenience, and that I should instead look at as an adventure led to some interesting pathways. I decided that all of motherhood could be placed under consideration. My number one(and no.2, I suppose) inconvenience would be potty training. I think my son may have the world's record for longest time spent potty training. He is a very bright child(and I have the test results to prove it), but the potty dilemma has just about undone us all. I spent the first year of training convinced I was a horrible mother and person. It seems so simple. You just go. I was on the verge of taking video to send to Dr. Phil when we had our tinkle breakthrough. We would spend 2-4 hours(yes, I said hours) in the bathroom. It was not a pleasant let's read books and sing songs kind of time together. It was plain ol' hysterics every time. And he would have to go so bad he would be in pain. For a long time I gave in, I didn't like seeing him that way. So I finally had one of my best brainstorms ever. I paid my sister $50 to get him to tinkle in the potty. She did it. It took 2 days, lots of screaming, and lots of kool-aid. That was last summer. We've had a lot of set backs. The first day of school his teacher sat him on the potty and he went all over the floor. (He was trained to stand) So for months he would not even consider sitting down because he knew he would go on the floor. It hasn't been until the past few weeks that he has decided it is ok to sit. Mostly because my dad sat in the bathroom with him for over an hour one day. But we still have to put on a diaper to do the deed. For a child as smart as he is, I just don't understand. But I finally realized it wasn't me. It's him. Ok, so it was partly me. He didn't really talk until after he turned three and never communicated his discomfort or that he needed to go, so I put off the whole ordeal until he could communicate.

What's the moral of this story. I guess it is that I should find the adventure in potty training now that my daughter(age 2) is interested. She loves the potty. Today she snuck in while her brother was tinkling and flushed. He hates that. She hasn't figured out yet that she can't stand up and go. A few days ago we were outside enjoying the weather and the kids were in their little pool when the boy had to go. His daddy showed him how to go on a tree. I wasn't sure he would do it since he is so very rigid about rules, etc, but he did. So his sister decided she needed to go. So I pulled down her diaper and she stood at the tree with her stomach thrust forward (like her brother does). Fortunately she didn't go, but her father and I had a good laugh.

The Adventure Continues

I thought the rest of my day yesterday would go well. I got a nap, I went to the grocery store, and continued my adventures by trying out the new Lime Coke. When I got home I noticed my sons eyes looked a little pink. By dinner time they were flaming red. So being the good mother I am, my husband asked me to call the doctor. They eventually got back to me two hours later and suggested I go ahead and take him to an immediate care center. At this point it was close to nine o'clock. By the time I got myself and him ready to leave( I had to wake him up) it was nine-thirty. Fortunately we live near a hospital with a children's ER/Immediate care center. Otherwise I would have had to drive to downtown Atlanta. I had really wanted to go to the fabric store last night. But I put aside my desires, and took my son to the doctor. The children's ER is a hopping place. We had a very nice Dr. She had a nose ring. So $100 later we had a prescription for some eye drops. Eckerd is also an intriguing place after 10:00. The only other person in the store was a very young guy buying personal protection. When I went out to my car I saw his girlfriend/wife waiting in his truck. I don't get out much. I felt like I was in the midst of some existential short story about a drug store. I was dragging my half asleep 4 year old, who was wearing my jacket that reached to his ankles and had flaming red eyes flowing with goop , through the store, the clerks were quietly stocking the shelves. I feel like there should be some deep meaning to the whole event, but I can't think of what it might be. I have always enjoyed going to stores late at night or early in the morning. It makes me feel like a character in a story or in a cheaply produced independent film. Needless to say, it was an adventure. The best part of my night was that my 2 yr old slept through the night for the first time in a week. She had her adenoids removed and her ear tubes replaced last week. It was outpatient surgery and she recovered well during the day. But she hasn't been sleeping well at night. As I mentioned in my last post, I require large amounts of sleep.

I wonder if my lack of refreshing sleep is what induced me to cut off all my hair. I had over 14 inches of my hair cut off last week. It was almost to my waist, now it is above my ears. Everyone likes it. I feel free. You don't think about hair being a burden, but it can be. I also realized it made my head feel cluttered, and as I am trying to eliminate the clutter from my life, I knew it had to go. I am going to donate my ponytail to locks of love. Well, if I have any more adventures today I will relate them to you, my non-existant audience. Maybe I should tell somebody I have a blog.

Too Stinking Early

I was planning on starting my blog today, but I got a much earlier start than I had hoped. This is a perfect chance to live up to my blog title. My 2 year old has been waking up periodically though the night. It would be fine if her crying wasn't quite so loud, because then I could sleep through it. I'm not sure I can come up with an accurate description of exactly how loud her cry is. But I am sure they heard it in California. Anyway, at 4:30, after getting up at 4:04, 4:16, and 4:25, I decided to go ahead and get up. Here is where I find myself tested. My first reaction to this situation is to gripe, complain, and grumble. Basically, I would consider this an inconvenience. I require large amounts of sleep to function. You may notice that sleeping is listed among my interests. But in my daily struggle to be a better person, I chose this opportunity to create my very own blog. How exciting. I have been thinking about creating one for about a year, but I figured no one would care or read it. But I am plunging forward, looking for a new adventure.

I came across the following quote the other day:

Men always talk about the most important things to perfect strangers. In the perfect stranger we perceive man himself; the image of God is not disguised by resemblance to an uncle or doubts of the wisdom of a mustache. G.K. Chesterton

This gave me the final push, and here I am. I don't have a life particularly fraught with adventure, but I think the fun comes from trying to make an adventure out of our everday living. Otherwise, we are quickly bored, and spend all our time complaining. I must confess that I find myself bored and complaining all too often. Now that I am coming out of a four year post partum induced haze, I want to be a better person, wife, mother, and christian, though not necessarily in that order. I have discovered that to be better at all these things means to be less selfish. Such a simple concept, but oh so hard to put into practice.

Well, the time has caught up to me and I am no longer thinking very coherently. I have no idea how often I will post, some days it may be many, many times, or a week may go by. My hope is to be disciplined enough to write everyday. What do I plan on talking about? I have no idea.