Birthday

Hunting for Eggs at Grandmas

I've been postponing writing this post and feeling guilty about it. It was the girl's birthday on the 14th. But I haven't been much in the mood to say nice things about her. As her father just wrote on his blog, since she just turned five we are entering the third year of the terrible twos.

On a good day, she is a lovely, well-mannered, beautiful, sweet little girl.

The hardest part of learning to deal with her is the realization that she is very much like me.

This is our latest struggle. Despite the fact that I have told her she is beautiful just about every day of her life, she now equates her beauty with her clothes. We argue over her clothes most days. She told me the other day that if she doesn't wear pretty or fancy clothes, people don't tell her she is beautiful. So in her mind, if someone doesn't tell her she is, then she is not. And she's just five. I totally understand her need for affirmation, because I have it, too. Now I try to be careful about how I praise her looks. I tell her I think she has a beautiful face, and her dress is pretty, too. Or if she is wearing something plain and simple, I will still compliment her outfit as well as her self. The other morning Splitcat asked if I had seen what she was wearing. I said yes, I'd helped her put it on. Did it remind you of anyone he asked. She looked just like you. She apparently overheard this and later that day changed back into this outfit and asked me who she looked like. What I found surprising is that she wanted to look like me. It really makes you look at your self when someone wants to be like you.

I have a lot of compassion for her. I was sick and pregnant during a time when she needed me. She is the middle child. She is the only girl. In some ways I am proud of her because she will not allow herself to go unnoticed, in this she differs greatly from me. When she spends the night at her grandmas, the whole atmosphere of our house changes. It is very quiet. Even without her saying anything, the atmosphere revs back up when she comes home. I am not so proud of the way she usually chooses to make her presence known, but I hope she always fights for herself. I see the makings of a strong and compassionate woman in her, and I can only pray that the Lord gives me the grace to teach her and train her up.

To end on a happy note. She has finally entered the world of dolls. She got a new "grown-up" doll for her birthday, so now we are acquiring matching outfits for her and her dolls(the dress she is wearing above came with a doll dress). I made her a really cute one of black with white polka dots. She is a very good momma to her dolls, making sure they put their coats on when we go outside, and wrapping them in blankets at bedtime.

I love you, E. Happy fifth birthday.